I'll Fly Away

I'm starting to notice that most of my post titles are song lyrics. It must be because I am from a musical family, but I digress.

Last week I took an impromptu trip to NYC to visit friends and family and if you don't know me, I cannot stand to fly. It's not like hating okra or liver, I REALLY hate it. I've been flying for a very long time, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am afraid. I think part of my fear is because I am no longer in control. I always think that if I flew in the cockpit, I'd feel much better - no joke. Obviously, that is not an option. Everyone has different fears and I respect that, but some people just don't understand fears and it's so upsetting to me.

While talking with a friend of mine some time ago, we were discussing my upcoming flight and I was sharing my feelings of anxiety with her. She proceeded to tell me that flying was safer than driving, which I already know but it does not make me feel any better. I responded that if I got into a car accident, I'd have a pretty good chance of surviving, but not so much in an airplane crash. Although, I've recently learned that more people survive plane crashes that you'd think. Still not assuring. Then this person told me to just pretend that I am in a car and when we hit turbulence pretend it's like going over potholes. I honestly wanted to ring her neck! Clearly, she did not understand my fear, so I no longer discuss it with her. I am aware of the statistics of dying in an airplane crash, and I can rationalize all day long, but when I am 35,000 feet in the air, it all goes out the window. Why can't people who clearly do not understand a particular fear just acknowledge what I am going through and listen instead of offering the dumbest advice ever? This said, I made it to and from NYC without a problem (just some minor turbulence). If you suffer from a fear or know someone who does, please be sure to be sensitive to them. What are some of your fear and how do you overcome them? By the way, the best way I found to overcome flying is either chardonnay or xanax!

Dream On

Has this ever happened to you? You have a dream about someone you know, perhaps a colleague or a pro football player and when you awake you seem to have a slight crush on that person? I know I am not the only one this happens to so I will assume your answer is yes! That said, last night I had a dream about a former colleague. In the dream he asked me for a piece of gum, so I said what any girl would say - the only way I'll give him a piece of gum is if you give me a kiss on the lips - fair enough, right? So as he was giving me what seemed to be the most incredible kiss, he morphed into Matt Lauer (I clearly ate too much before going to sleep last night). Long story short, when I awoke this morning and turned on the Today Show like I normally do, I smiled at Matt with a lot more affection than normal. But let's be real. Matt is a bit out of reach, so I will just have to have a crush on my former colleague for the day. If this does happen to you, you know that these dreams are harmless and the "crush" only lasts about a day - thank goodness!!

So, who have you had a dream about and did you then have a crush on that person? Do tell!

I'm hooked on a feeling!

I am sure many people can relate to the feeling I get every time I get a great deal on either clothes or groceries - doesn't matter. I can honestly tell you that I get a euphoric feeling when say, I buy a pair of shoes that were originally $100 for $25.00! Even when I buy consigned clothes - which I buy often, I still go crazy Nothing makes me happier! Okay, that's not necessarily true, but I do love it!

A few months back, I went to a junior league sale and bought ten items of clothing for $10! Not 10 crappy pieces of clothing either, I'm talking Tommy Hilfiger, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Lily Pulitzer... you get the point. I was on cloud nine and still am and that was six months ago! Until a few weeks ago, when I snatched the ultimate deal that unless you get something for free, you'll never beat! I was shopping at my local department store and had two sweaters in my hand. The original prices were marked down and there were additional markdowns but quite frankly, I never know what the actual markdown will be until the cashier tells me what I owe. So, I walk up to the counter to purchase my sweaters and the first one rings up as $17.32. So, I agree to get that sweater. The second sweater rings up as 0.01 - yes, that is ONE penny!! So I take my bag and practically run out the store with a huge grin on my face as if I had just committed a crime. When I got in my car, I examined the receipt and there it was in black and white - one cent. It was originally $44.00 marked down to a penny! How crazy is that? I called my husband from the car to share my excitement but he was not as excited as I was, so I called a friend to share in my moment...

Since I know I'm not the only person who feels like this, I'd love to hear about your deals! By the way, I can't wait until it gets cool so I can wear my one cent shirt!

Me, and enabler?

I never considered myself to be enabler to my husband and kids but someone made me see the light. Long story long, my family and I were at a friends house this past weekend for a open house to showcase all of the work her and her husband did to their house - which is amazing! My two children, ages 4 and 2, were running around with the other kids having a great time. At one point, my son had to use the bathroom and my daughter wanted more strawberries, so I excused myself from a coversation my husband and I were having with a friend and took my kids along their way. When I returned, my husband asked if everything was good and taken care of. At that point, our friend, who is a male, made a joke that I was taking care of everything while my husband just talked and drank his beer without worrying about anything. So, I got to thinking... have I gotten him used to this? Is this my fault? At first, I denied it, but after thinking about our daily routine, I realized that I was way wrong. Here are some of the ways I enable: while on vacation at the beach last week, I awoke with the kids every morning and fed them breakfast. I fed them lunch. I changed my daughters diapers. I fed them dinner. When we're at home I feed them breakfast, I feed them lunch, I change my daughters diapers and you guessed it, I feed them dinner. This is insane! What have I done? Yes, my husband will not cut the edge of their sandwiches the way I do, but will they get sick from it? No. He may forget to shut the blinds when putting my daughter in her crib for a nap, but will she get hurt from this? No. So, as of a few days ago, I have decided to delegate and let go and it feels good. It is not an easy task for a control freak such as myself, but this is a great exercise. Last night, as I was preparing dinner for myself and my husband I asked him to come up with something to feed the kids and then fix it. It was a step in the right direction. Sometimes, for the sake of our sanity, we need to let go and speak up. My husband would never have known that I was boiling inside - it's just how men are wired. It took a friend of mine bringing it to my attention and I am so glad he did, otherwise I would continue this madness.

So my question to you is do you ever resent your spouse for anything?

Back to school... again!

Today was my son's third time heading to preschool and I had looked forward to this day since May, but much to my surprise, I was overcome with sadness. To give you a little background, I am not the kind of mom who weeps at the thought of her children going to kindergarten or preschool for that matter. In fact, I am the kind of mom who counts down the days 'til school starts and this time was no different. Taking care of two children as opposed to one, is just harder - for me anyway. It's easier taking one to the grocery store than two, especially if they're in fighting mode. So, this day couldn't come fast enough. Yet this morning, as I combed my sons hair, packed his backpack and took a picture of him, my eyes started to well up. I shook my head in disbelief as I was not one of those moms. The fact is, no matter how much our children drive us nuts during the summer months and how excited we get when August rolls around, we miss our children. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that I can run errands in peace this morning, but am still missing my little man.

So, how do you handle going back to school?

Pet Peeves

The other night, my hubby and I were watching some mindless television and came across an interesting topic. The show is about a bunch of newleyweds competing for money and one of the questions was "what is one thing that drives you nuts about your spouse?" So my husband said he couldn't think of anything that I do that drives him crazy and I of course replied with the same answer... however, I got to thinking. There are SEVERAL things that he does that drive me bonkers. First, he paces, even for no reason at all. It's annoying. Second, he flosses his teeth in the morning. Doesn't this defeat the purpose? There are several others, but I also got to thinking that if these are the things that drive me crazy about my husband, then we're in pretty good shape.

So, what drives you nuts-o about your spouse?

And the verdict is... GUILTY!

Why as parents, moms especially, do we walk around with a load of guilt on our shoulders? Whether it's wondering if you spent enough time playing with your children or not looking when your son scores his first soccer goal - every day I struggle with guilt. Today is no different... Today was my sons first day of camp and I read the instructions on what to send with a fine tooth comb the night before. So, this morning was a piece of cake and he and I both were excited about this new adventure.

My first piece of guilt was not doing anything with my daughter. I wondered what I did with my son when he was her age. So, I took her for a walk, albeit a short one. Then we played and watched television together. I felt guilty. So, I decided that we'd color and play board games but at the moment I was filling the aquadoodle pen with water, my cell phone rang and it was my sons camp! They asked if I had packed his lunch and of course I told them I did and what was in the brown bag, but decided to look in the frig anyway to make sure. Low and behold, there was lunch. I forgot to put it in his backpack! Why were they calling me at 12:15 instead of 9:15 when they should have been realizing this I thought. I told them I would be there in mere minutes. What should be a 15 minute drive only took me 8 looong minutes. I felt terrible at the thought of the other kids munching on their turkey sandwiches and Jack sitting there quietly. When I arrived, his face lit up and he gave me the biggest smile. Little did he know that I walked out crying. He didn't know the difference, but all I could think about was how bad a mom I was and his teachers didn't give me a reason to feel any different. All of this said, why why why do we feel so much guilt all of the time? We're not bad parents. Forgetful? Yes. Bad? Not a chance.